Lemme tell you my embarrassing story from today.

So I went to the health center at my uni to get a morning after pill in case I need it, right?

Well when I got to the appointment window this lady told me to fill out this form and it was like, asking when my last period was, when I last had sex etc. as if I was in immediate danger of pregnancy

and I thought I had to do this and I couldn’t get it unless I was in actual danger of pregnancy, so I filled it out and lied and put like May 12th as the last day I had sex

and she looks at the paper and goes “May 12th was a long time ago”

and I was like “…Okay well I am actually not in danger of pregnancy, I just wanted the morning after pill in case I need it…”

and apparently that was totally fine and I was like “I’M SORRY I LIED I THOUGHT YOU HAD TO BE IN IMMEDIATE DANGER OF PREGNANCY CUZ YOU GAVE ME THIS FORM ALKGADJKHSK” (I didn’t actually say this I said “OH I’m sorry, doctors make me nervous” and she was like “me too”)

but she was really nice about it and now I have this pill in case I need it and yeah.

Her name was Stella. Eheheh.

LESSON: Don’t lie. The one time I lie and I end up embarrassing myself and looking like an ass.

So I was gonna leave for school now (7 AM) because it takes about 20 minutes to bike there and I wanted to be there early for my last final which is at 8

but then it turns out that the Bike Barn (where I lock up my bike so no one steals it) doesn’t open until 7:30 AM.

So uh I guess I’ll sit here for a few more minutes then.

But I should brush my teeth.

Allons-y!

murkurlur:

augustuswtrs:

artistic-therapist:

augustuswtrs:

people who call vaginas ‘vajayjay’

you think you got problems my sister calls them ‘vajigglyjags’

vadidgeridoos

thedoctorsconsultingfirebender:

I want the Doctor to take a kid as his companion.

A 14-15 year old kid who’s parents are fighting, has few friends, bad grades, and feels like complete shit before the Doctor comes.

No kissing, complicated relationships, confusion or stuff like that, just the Doctor taking a kid who doesn’t see much out of life for a ride.

bigasseyesfullawonder:

things my grandchildren are going to hear me say

• yo
• lil nigga
• chicken nugger
• swiggity swag what’s in the bag
• bitch i might be
• holla holla get dolla
• swaggy
• bip bop bam i don’t give a damn
• ding dong that is wrong

things i never wanted my grandchildren to hear me say

• yo
• lil nigga
• chicken nugger
• swiggity swag what’s in the bag
• bitch i might be
• holla holla get dolla
• swaggy
• bip bop bam i don’t give a damn
• ding dong that is wrong